Rabu, 18 Agustus 2010

This is A Real Story About Me and My 'lost'Friend.

Dear My Friend,

Actually, I'm a 'boyfriendship' person, not really a 'girlfriendship' person. Saya merasa lebih nyaman berada di boys teritorial. Dan itulah sebabnya, sampai saat ini Saya tidak punya banyak sahabat bergender perempuan. Pity of me.

Once upon a time, I've met one girlfriend. I think she's kinda same with me, also look a like me! I'm not joking, people oftenly think that she as me and me as her. Hem. And I also think that we have --almost--same story of life. We both virgo, 1st child on a family tree, having a double family, almost same interests. I though that's many sames can make us a couple of best friend.

But, I dont know, what happen with our relationship. Everything changed. Some misunderstood, some silences, some shit happens. We never talk each other anymore. But honestly, even we're not currently noted as mutual friend again, I still thinking of her. When her ex boyfriend/also my best friend get married, I cry like a baby [why? Maybe, I can feel her feeling or I thinking about the past time. How we spend many time together, how we passed the bad time together].

So happy to hear that you're okey and so damn fine with your complicated life. Eventhough, you must be so sad and desperate inside. I now it, dear, I can feel it also. Denialed everything is one way to run yr life. But it's okey as long as can make you more tough. It's very ticky when you said you have to hide me on yr fb account because you dont want to see anyone who could remind you to your exboyfriend. And I try to understand it. And its getting more ticky when you still keep everyone but me who can reminding you to yr exboyfriend! It's kinda hurt, u know.

Hmm, I wrote this letter, because I had a bad dream last nite. And you're inside my dream as an angel and I'm as a devil who maintain my self existence. Hmm. Maybe it's representating one of my feel about our relationship. Mad or sad? It's show me that there's a chapter of my life that disturbing me alot.

I miss U girl. And I hope, one time, we can meet, talk, hug. I hope u're always fine w yr life. I pray for you.

Ps: just courious, are you even thinking about this? Or it's just me and my Virgo's curses....

Selasa, 03 Agustus 2010

Mencari Jalan Ke Ipanema.

Hari ini kembali ke 10 tahun yang lalu. Short haircut, wool sweater, cheesy smile, dan orange lollypop. Yang berbeda adalah Edith tidak lagi berbagpack. Edith sekarang berbagpounch manik-manik berlayer-layer dan bersendal jepit kulit ular.

Hari ini Edith berlari dengan dua bongkahan besar es balok dipundaknya. Es balok yang berukirkan tulisan: LIFE & RESPONSIBILITY. Misi Edith adalah berlari keliling kota di terik matahari dan mempertahankan huruf-huruf di es baloknya tetap utuh. Untuk kali ini, Edith melakukannya dengan riang dan suka cita. Tidak seperti 10 tahun lalu ketika jaman kegelapan dalam hidupnya masih berlangsung.

Di musim yang aneh ini, matahari seringkali menaikkan volume keterikannya. Tapi dalam ‘Edith & es balok situation’, matahari memilih menaikkan standar terik ke level yang lebih tinggi. Senyuman di muka Edith sepertinya sudah mulai mencair.

Balok es. LIFE & RESPONSIBILITY. Edith memilihnya sebagai tantangan hari ini. Disaat seperti ini, kadangkala angin menjadi teman baik yang mendinginkan suhu tubuh. Tapi angin juga bisa berubah menjadi musuh, bertiup terlalu kencang dan membawa debu masuk ke dalam mata, hidung, mulut, dan telinga. Mengerti kan maksudku? Angin bukanlah selalu menjadi udara yang bertiup. Dan debu bukan selalu menjadi partikel yang terlihat.

Sore menjelang. Matahari masih terik. Seolah-olah bulatannya ingin segera menabrakan diri dengan bumi. Edith masih berlari berkeliling. Es baloknya sudah mulai mencair. Banyak. Kira-kira sudah setengah huruf menghilang. Tulisan di es balok Edith: {setengah} LIFE & {setengah} RESPONSIBILITY. Tidak ada seorangpun yang menyuruh berlari apalagi berusaha menghentikannya. Itu adalah pilihan sendiri. Edith mulai kelelahan. Mukanya masih berusaha tersenyum berharap musim dingin datang untuk membekukan es baloknya, menumbuhkan kembali huruf-huruf yang telah hilang sekaligus memberinya pilihan kata-kata baru.

Edith is a ‘life’. And she choose ‘responsibility’ to make her life [still] alive.


ami